Lately, my phone has been a bridge to two different worlds. My conservative friends reach out to offer perspectives or point out hypocrisy; my liberal friends reach out in a firestorm of anger. In the middle of it all, I am simply grieving.
To my conservative friends, I understand you see what is unfolding through your life’s lens, grounded in your experiences and your beliefs.
I’ll speak for myself – in this moment, I’m grieving. Grieving for this beautiful country full of love, compassion, innovation, and endless optimism that is hard to recognize. Grieving for the parents separated from their children, for the fear young children have walking home from school.
What I hear from you and conservative pundits is, “It was a tragedy what happened, but…”
Right now, what I’m asking is to pause with the “but”. I don’t have the capacity to process the ‘but’ right now. I’m not going to hear it. It’s not the way the brain works when grief and trauma hijacks the brain.
Sit with me in my grief. Pray with me. Let your heart feel the pain and hear the cry of the many that yearn for a better world. That’s what I need from you. Love me for who I am in this moment without worrying about if you’re right and I’m wrong.
To my liberal friends, take a deep breath. Our anger and frustration are only helpful if it motivates us to make the world a better place. I understand your frustrations and, I too, want to lash out at the lack of humanity we’re seeing and channel my frustration at folks who voted for Trump.
But to shout that out on social media and then go back to your everyday life, holding those emotions, changes nothing. If anything, it makes things worse – that’s not healthy for you or the way to make a change in the world. Take a break from social media. If you’re like me and are dragged down the rabbit hole of horrific reels, I implore you to shut it off, take a break.
A colleague reminded me today that joy is an act of resistance. Find joy this weekend outside of a computer screen. Join a rally. Go for walk. Take a deep breath. Joy and self-care are more radical in this moment than another angry post.
My Challenge to Everyone
When our country was founded E Pluribus Unum was added to the great seal – Out of Many, One.
Despite our differences and disagreements, we must learn to come together and to see the decency in one another. It begins with our community and ourselves. Get to know your neighbors, attend local city council meetings or school board meetings, shovel your neighbor’s driveway. Try out a new idea “I disagree with you but I’ll sit with you in these emotions”. Hell, name your own emotions that are coming up. Host someone to watch a playoff game*. Offer to babysit someone’s kids. Learn a new hobby.
To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing – Raymond Williams
One thing I’ve tapped into for my own healing this week is music. Here’s a little Johnny Cash that I hope both liberal and conservative can enjoy.
*important note: Bears still suck
Casey, I hear you! I see you! I understand you. And I am with you in grief and, for me, in wondering what to do. I just read David Brooks’ column entitled “Sins of the Moderates” and want to hear (from God, as I am a Jesus-follower) how to fight this “might makes right” movement.
God bless you, Casey! Keep writing and posting.
Well said Casey, I’m so proud of you. Listening to Jimmy Buffet and going out for a beautiful winter walk soon…